Keith Soster, now director of student engagement at Michigan Dining, noticed a gap in etiquette skills among student staff upon joining the University of Michigan over two decades ago. Tasked with preparing students for professional dinners at the Michigan League and Michigan Union, he emphasized the importance of polished conduct. “The students who serve during professional dinners… must understand how to conduct themselves,” stated Soster. To address this, he initiated a training program to teach formal dining etiquette.
Soster’s training involves setting a table for students to practice as diners and servers, covering basics like passing the bread basket and not touching food until the host has started. This approach quickly gained popularity, leading to more requests for his workshops. Today, Soster conducts roughly 20 etiquette sessions annually, catering to a diverse audience — from middle schoolers to graduate students — with topics ranging from dining practices to networking tips.
Learning by Doing
Each session lasts about 90 minutes, mirroring a three-course meal. Soster uses props like a giant spoon to teach proper eating techniques, offering memorable lessons through humor. He shares stories to emphasize that etiquette involves gracefully recovering from mistakes. One anecdote involves a dinner guest mistaking the communal pasta platter for her own, illustrating the importance of subtle guidance.
Stories, such as having parsley stuck in teeth at a party, help students learn that etiquette is about adaptability rather than rigid rules. Soster’s workshops also cover cultural traditions, collaborating with international students to incorporate diverse customs and languages, promoting a global understanding of etiquette.
Respecting Cultural Traditions
While focusing on American dining customs, Soster stresses the importance of respecting cultural differences. Collaborating with international students, he developed a workshop highlighting Asian traditions, including chopstick etiquette. The sessions encourage students to adopt their host’s customs while acknowledging that mistakes are part of the learning process.
Beyond etiquette, Soster champions sustainability at Michigan Dining, diverting 58% of its waste from landfills. He mentors student groups and oversees initiatives like the Maize and Blue Cupboard food pantry, fostering real-world applications of classroom concepts. He connects respect for food and resources with etiquette, underscoring a shared value.
Why Manners Matter
Soster’s etiquette philosophy centers on safety, comfort, and respect. His goal is to boost students’ confidence in professional settings, allowing them to focus on self-presentation. The skills learned extend beyond university life, preparing students for future success.
What’s Next
Looking ahead to retirement, Soster plans to share his expertise through writing and social media, envisioning a “College Student’s Handbook to Etiquette.” Until then, he continues to engage students with interactive lessons and memorable props, embodying playwright Anton Chekhov’s adage on the essence of good manners.
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