In a digital age where screens are omnipresent, managing screen time is a growing concern for families. A study released in 2024 highlights a compelling link: a child’s screen habits often mirror those of their parents. This finding suggests that parents looking to limit their children’s screen time might start by evaluating their own.
“If you don’t want your teens to be looking at their phones at the dinner table, you should not be taking out your phone at the dinner table either,” says psychologist Jean Twenge, who authored 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World in September.
Digital parenting coach Elizabeth Milovidov acknowledges the difficulty parents face in reducing their screen time, given the online nature of many household management tasks. However, by demonstrating mindful technology use, parents can set a powerful example for their children.
Twenge suggests that the time saved from reduced screen use could foster stronger family connections and healthier routines, including better sleep, in-person social interactions, exercise, and reading.
Consider if the interaction is truly urgent.
The urge to respond to every digital notification is strong, but it’s crucial to assess if the response is necessary at that moment. Milovidov advises parents to ask, “Is this necessary right now? Is this urgent?” If not, it might be better to delay the response and focus on the present family activity instead.
Explain your digital interactions to children.
The concept of phubbing—neglecting someone in favor of a phone—can strain relationships. Twenge warns, “When you’re talking to someone and take that phone out, the message to the other person is, ‘You are not as important as what’s on this phone.'” This can particularly impact children, who crave their parents’ attention.
Research indicates that phubbing can reduce emotional intelligence in young children and weaken the parent-child bond. Therefore, explaining your phone use to your children can mitigate these effects.
For example, if you must send an email during breakfast, briefly show your child what you’re doing and why, reassuring them you will return to the family activity soon. Balance this by allocating dedicated time to engage with your child later.
Evaluate the quality of your screen time.
Milovidov suggests assessing how digital activities impact your well-being and relationships. Instead of focusing solely on the duration of screen time, consider its quality and effects. For instance, a cherished weekly video call with a relative might be beneficial, while late-night social media may disrupt sleep.
Recognizing these patterns allows you to adjust your habits, such as saving podcasts for the morning commute or setting limits on social media usage.
Keep bedrooms device-free.
Studies suggest that having electronic devices in the bedroom can compromise sleep quality, even if they are in airplane mode. The proximity of devices makes them easy to access, potentially leading to late-night scrolling and disrupted sleep patterns.
Children are also susceptible to this temptation, with research showing that 60% of kids aged 11-17 use their phones late at night on school nights. Setting an example by keeping devices out of your bedroom can reinforce this rule for children.
Design device-free zones and times.
Milovidov advocates for creating specific areas and times for device use. For example, a computer might be restricted to a desk for work, while a tablet could be used for entertainment in a designated area. This strategy helps establish zones free of digital distractions.
Apply similar boundaries to your schedule by banning devices during meals or other key family times. This can include movie nights, vacations, or any event where family interaction is prioritized.
Practice self-compassion.
Milovidov reminds parents that navigating digital parenting is challenging, and it’s okay to make mistakes. “Give yourself some empathy,” she says, encouraging parents to forgive themselves and adjust as needed.
The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib, with art direction by Beck Harlan. We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.
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