Ever found yourself juggling a to-do list that never seems to end? From remembering to grab paper towels to signing up for summer camp, the mental load can be overwhelming. Sociologist Leah Ruppanner delves into this topic in her latest book, Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More, which aims to provide evidence-based strategies to alleviate the “emotional thinking work” that consumes our mental energy.
Ruppanner, a scholar from The University of Melbourne, argues that recognizing and quantifying the mental load is a crucial step towards managing it. She states, “Once we see it, we can’t unsee it. We can start to address it.” Although everyone experiences mental load, her research highlights that women often bear the brunt, accounting for over 70% of domestic mental responsibilities according to one study involving over 3,000 U.S. parents.
In an interview with Life Kit, Ruppanner discusses the cultural myths that perpetuate heavy mental loads for women. One such myth is the notion that women are inherently better multitaskers. However, research debunks this, showing that multitasking does not truly exist; instead, it involves rapid task-switching that depletes cognitive resources.
Ruppanner also challenges the stereotype that men are poor household managers. She cites research indicating that men who participate in primary childcare and household duties report greater health and happiness, countering the belief that women are naturally better suited for these roles.
A study conducted by Ruppanner and her colleagues at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and New York University further examined gender perceptions of cleanliness. Participants rated a messy and a clean room, and results showed no significant difference in perception between men and women, debunking the myth that “men can’t see the mess.”
To help lighten the mental load, Ruppanner suggests identifying and categorizing the tasks that fill one’s mind. Her book outlines a tool called the Mental Load Audit, which organizes responsibilities into categories such as life organization, emotional support, and personal upkeep.
Ruppanner advises that once tasks are categorized, they should be evaluated as either energy drains or credits. “Every day you wake up with a certain amount of capacity,” she explains, emphasizing the importance of not exhausting one’s mental resources daily. She encourages finding joy and alignment in mental efforts.
For those seeking to offload responsibilities without spending money, Ruppanner suggests exploring technology solutions, such as apps for organizing schedules or managing emails. She also emphasizes the value of adopting a “good is good enough” mentality to reduce unnecessary mental strain.
The ultimate aim, according to Ruppanner, is to reach a state where one’s mental load is manageable, allowing for a life that is fulfilling and free from burnout.
Measure your mental load with a short quiz developed by Ruppanner, offering insights and tips to ease the burden.
For more insights, listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and explore additional resources in the newsletter. Follow on Instagram: @nprlifekit.
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