Many parents face the challenge of managing their children’s anger, from sibling disputes to limits on screen time. Some parents struggle to help kids process intense emotions, with one in seven believing their child gets angrier than peers, according to a national poll. The University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital report reveals that four in 10 parents say their child faces negative outcomes when angry. Additionally, 70% of parents admit to sometimes setting a poor example in handling their own anger.
“Children often react intensely to minor frustrations since they’re still building emotional regulation skills. Without guidance on how to express these feelings appropriately, it can lead to disruptive behaviors, problems at school, and strained relationships,” said Mott Poll co-director Sarah Clark, M.P.H.
The report, based on responses from over 1,000 parents of children aged 6-12, highlights the importance of parents teaching anger management strategies. Many parents feel their child has improved in managing anger, yet two in five worry about future problems. Boys are more often reported as experiencing negative consequences, such as self-harm or trouble at school, when angry. Parents acknowledge that modeling bad anger management contributes to these issues.
Some children express anger more often
Clark emphasizes the need to avoid shaming children for their anger, instead teaching them that it doesn’t define them. Despite this, one-third of parents admit to lacking advice on helping kids learn anger management. While many schools have resources for children, less than half provide information for parents.
Help children identify go-to calming tools
Parents suggest strategies like drawing, counting to ten, or deep breathing to help children manage anger. Some children benefit from physical outlets, such as ripping paper or squeezing stress balls, with boys more encouraged in these activities. Clark advises parents to try various approaches since no single strategy works for all.
Recognize what’s behind the anger
Parents play a crucial role in preventing outbursts by ensuring children get enough sleep, exercise, and by helping them identify triggers. Anger often masks underlying emotions like fear or disappointment. Understanding these feelings can aid parents in approaching situations with empathy.
Model calm responses to anger
Many parents admit they occasionally set a poor example in anger management. By expressing feelings and apologizing, they can demonstrate effective strategies. Narrating self-soothing techniques, like taking deep breaths, provides children with practical tools.
Provide positive reinforcement
Clark suggests offering specific praise to children when they manage anger well. Rewarding positive behavior reinforces coping strategies, while punishing anger without emphasizing strategy use proves ineffective. Parents should validate feelings but set clear boundaries on aggression.
Take a pulse on children’s anger management at school
Clark advises parents to understand how children handle frustration at school, where they have less control. School conferences offer a chance to discuss effective home strategies with teachers.
Seek professional help if needed
If anger becomes severe, consulting a therapist may be beneficial. Children with underlying issues like anxiety or trauma may struggle more with anger management. Professional support offers tailored strategies for families.
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