Developing friendships is a natural part of childhood, but some kids find it easier than others. Many parents worry about their children’s friendships, according to the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health. The poll reveals one in five parents say their child ages six to 12 has no friends or not enough friends.
Ninety percent of parents believe their child wants to make new friends. “Friendships can play a significant role in children’s overall health and development, emotional wellbeing, self-esteem, and social skills,” said Mott Poll co-director Sarah Clark, M.P.H. “But some parents say their children face barriers in making friends, such as personality, social anxiety, medical conditions, or limited opportunities.”
Over half of parents report at least one factor making it difficult for their child to form new friendships, with about one in five saying shyness or being socially awkward hindered their child’s friend-making efforts.
Fewer parents say friendship challenges stem from kids being mean or a child’s disability or medical condition making friendships more challenging. Parents of older children are more likely to report that difficulties in making new friends relate to established friend groups or too few social opportunities.
Helping children navigate friendships
Three in four parents have taken steps to help their child make new friends. Common strategies include arranging playdates, enrolling their child in activities, or giving advice on how to make friends. About a fourth of parents try to befriend other parents with children the same age.
“Supporting children in making friends is a balance of guidance, encouragement, and giving them space to navigate social situations independently,” Clark said. “Parents’ involvement may vary based on a child’s age, personality, and social needs.”
Children struggling with shyness, medical conditions, or social anxiety may need to be eased into friend-making. Parents can help by choosing a small group activity the child enjoys and allowing them to become comfortable with peers.
“For some children, making new friends can be stressful,” Clark said. “Remember that children are still developing and practicing their social skills while making and maintaining friendships. Parents should expect and allow children to make mistakes, intervening only in matters of safety.”
Parents of older children are more likely to allow social media use to connect with friends, including one in four parents of middle school-aged children. Clark cautions parents to be mindful of social media’s impact, as it can increase the risk of anxiety and depression due to negative peer influences. “Parents who choose to allow social media should help their child learn to use it responsibly,” she said.
Parents want friends’ families to be like them
Over half of parents feel it’s very important to know the parents of their child’s friends, with more than a quarter concerned about friends encouraging behaviors they disapprove of. Surprisingly, two in three parents said it was important for their child’s friends to come from similar families, often with similar parenting styles.
More than a third of parents also prefer their child’s friends to come from families with certain political or religious affiliations. Fewer parents prioritize similar education or income levels. Clark warns that limiting friendships to similar circles may prevent children from developing broader perspectives and social skills.
“School is often seen as a place where children will encounter peers with diverse backgrounds, ideas, and customs,” Clark said. “Limiting a child’s friends to only those from similar backgrounds may hinder their ability to navigate diverse networks in the future.”
The nationally representative report is based on responses from 1,031 parents of children 6-12 years old surveyed in August 2024.
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