The decline in birth rates across the United States has been a topic of concern for many years. While a slight increase was noted last year, primarily among Hispanic women, experts remain cautious about labeling it a significant trend. Amil Niazi, a columnist at The Cut and a mother of three, delved into this issue, seeking to understand why fewer people are choosing to have children.
Niazi initiated a conversation on X by asking, “Thinking about low birth rates, I’m curious, what’s keeping you from having a kid/having more kids?” The responses she received were overwhelming and varied, reflecting deep-seated emotions and concerns. In an interview with The Show, Niazi discussed the feedback she received.
The Conversation Unveiled
AMIL NIAZI: “Everything from like, you know, really sort of angry vitriol about like, ‘how dare I ask? Isn’t it so obvious,’ like the cost of living and housing and the world is on fire. I got some really thoughtful, clearly very emotional answers from people who I could tell were really struggling with this, you know, who, who either really wanted to have kids but felt they couldn’t, or, you know, were on the fence about whether it was practical or feasible to have another one or have one. I was sort of taken aback by how much it was clear that people were really wrestling with this subject.”
Niazi noted that the decision to have children is not as straightforward as it might have been for previous generations. She highlighted that the struggle to balance personal desires with practical considerations is a significant factor in today’s family planning decisions.
Ethics and Parenthood
LAUREN GILGER: One response that stood out was, “I think any child of mine would likely experience more suffering than joy over the course of their life. So, it would be unethical to bring them into the world.” This sentiment reflects a recurring theme regarding the ethics of childbearing.
NIAZI: Niazi acknowledged the complexity of intertwining ethics with the decision to have children. She shared, “It’s something I sort of explored in an earlier column about, you know, having kids in an age of climate devastation… My assumption, as a mother, has to be that I’m going to fight to make the world better for my kids.”
Judgment and Family Choices
GILGER: As someone currently expecting her third child, Gilger inquired about Niazi’s experiences with judgment regarding her family size.
NIAZI: “I was really surprised. It was a level of judgment that spanned many different areas,” Niazi explained. She described the societal pressures and criticisms regarding family size and the perceived impracticality of having more children in today’s world.
The ability to choose family size, whether it involves having more children or opting not to have any, is a contentious issue. Niazi emphasized the importance of maintaining this choice and the ongoing societal debate surrounding it.
A Broader Perspective
GILGER: The discussion also touched on how liberal perspectives on familyhood have evolved over time.
NIAZI: Reflecting on the narrative surrounding parenthood, Niazi noted, “So, it started to feel very negative, the conversation about motherhood and about parenthood… And then I got into it and I was like, ‘oh my God, this is the best.’” She stressed the need for a more balanced conversation that embraces the joys of parenthood while acknowledging its challenges.
Ultimately, Niazi believes that hope and optimism are integral to parenthood. As she poignantly put it, “hope is the currency of parenthood.” This hopeful outlook is what drives her commitment to creating a better future for her children.
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